Starry Starry Night

Starry Starry Night

Last night I stepped out onto the back porch to get a couple of sticks of firewood.  It was cold, clear, crisp and still.   I do not live in a quiet world.  This farm is 100 acres.  It is big to me, but not big in the scheme of things.  It is never quiet here.  There is always a dog barking in the distance, a cow bellowing a forlorn cry in a field or a night creature stalking prey.

Dressed only in my PJ's and slippers, I leaned against the railing and  looked up at the milky way.  I had a new feeling.  It wasn't that I was looking up at the stars, but I was standing on the edge of the world from my own star, looking at my neighbors.

Several thoughts came to me in the quiet. " Be still and know that I am God." ,"if it isn't right, kind, or necessary, don't say it."," if you are not listening, you are not learning.", and "quiet is wisdom."

The sheer bitter cold forced me back in the house.  It was only fourteen degrees when I was standing there.  For the first time since I was a kid, I didn't feel the cold because of the excitement I felt while standing in the stars and listening for a sound- any sound in the night.

I thought about putting on my coat and going back out yet I knew this was a once in a lifetime moment.  A moment when I was one with the earth and the sky.  I felt it was a moment I could not duplicate or extend.   Today I am calmer and will try to make the best of every moment, knowing there will never be another moment like this one.  There will not be another day like today.  Enjoy.  It is why we are here. Take time to  celebrate the smallest moment that makes you smile.  

s

Nervous. Who, me?

Yesterday morning I got up as usual and followed my normal routine.  Put my best friend Diggitty, a mini daschund, outside to do her morning ritual, turned on the coffee pot and sat down to see what happened in the world overnight.
It struck me how incredibly nervous I have been the last few days.  I really can't put my finger on the immediate source.  We all have drama.  Children to worry about (no matter how old they are).  A million things to do for the upcoming Holiday Season. It goes on and on.  Nothing has changed, so why am I  so nervous?
Then it hit me like a ton of bricks.
While I wait for Diggitty to come back in and the coffee to brew, I am thinking of the five hundred things I need to do.  
While I am in the shower I am thinking about what I will wear. When I am getting dressed I am thinking about feeding the cats and dogs and whether there is enough pet food to get through the week.  While I am feeding the animals, I am wondering if their water is okay or if the greenhouse needs to be watered.  While I am putting out fresh water and cleaning the litter box, I am thinking about what to eat for breakfast.
Let me tell you folks.  It is not yet nine o'clock and I am exhausted.
I sat down and tried to think of when I am the calmest. It is when I am either reading or writing.  Why?  Because you can't read and think about anything else and you can not write and think about anything else.
Ah, a clue.
There have been many books written about staying in the now.  They are good advice but I didn't heed them until this morning.  
Today, I got up, slipped on my bedroom slippers and made it a point to notice how comfortable they made my feet feel.  I carried by little friend to the back door and on the way I flipped the switch on the coffee.  Instead of obsessing about the events of last night, I stood at the back door and observed the dog as she did her walk about.  I kept my mind on her and what she liked to do.
Got my coffee and sat down at the computer.  I have two books going.  They are both good but one is lighthearted and one serious.  I enjoy writing one more than the other, yet I have so much time invested, I will finish both. But I digress.  While I was checking out facebook I made it a point to see my friends as they are.  Really pay attention to what they think was important enough to post.  Had to laugh.  Most facebook postings are frivolousness. 
When I took my shower, I took time to feel the water flow down my body.  I felt the shampoo lather in my hair and the sensation of the shower gloves on my body.  Okay. Maybe I sound a little crazy.    Yet  it is now nine o'clock again and I am going to try this for the entire day.  Maybe again tomorrow.  No phone while driving, no book while eating.  Just a day of paying attention.  
Will it help?  I will let you know.  I can say I am not as exhausted as I was this time yesterday.  And everyone else around here seems calmer also.  Humm.