Kind, Right, and Necessary

 I decided to follow the Buddhist Boot Camp philosophy and not speak unless what I have to say is true, kind, and necessary. Well, I haven't uttered a word in three days!  Do you realize how much we say is unkind and unnecessary?

Well, I can tell you, probably 99.9 %. 

The problem with life is we are too judgmental. Someone says, "That guy needs a dentist." Well, do they know that guy can fix anything?  He lives in his own happy little world and has never been in a position that afforded him the means to have his teeth repaired. Should we shun him or mention his nasty teeth to everyone we meet?

"Well, this here guy came up long side me and scared the bee geezus outta me," the lady said.  We aren't asking her to lunch at the tearoom, are we?  Yet she has three college educated children she put through school while scrubbing floors at the hospital. Everyone adores her. We are so shallow.

The same goes for tattoos, fat bellies, and bald guy comb overs.

It all boils down to this. We don't know why people talk, walk, or look like they do. So don't judge.
We are all here to be the best authentic person we can be. Instead of looking down at people, smile.
say,hi, what could it hurt?

There is a story about collective consciousness I have always remembered. Jane Goodall  had lived with the gorillas for almost twenty years when she saw a young one do something no other gorilla had ever done. I wish I could remember what it was. Let's just say he ate a banana upside down.
She noted it. Five days later, every monkey in the group was doing this and then reports came in from around the world. All gorillas and monkeys were now doing the same thing.

Maybe we could do the same thing.
Maybe our positive thoughts and silent blessing to people will become a worldwide movement.

I can only hope that for one day you will try to not say anything that is not kind, true, or necessary.
It is a huge eye-opener.

Try not to think it either, because thoughts become your reality, only pick the good ones.
If I am preaching I am sorry, not my intent. Mostly I am trying to remind myself that we are here to create. Create books, good dinners, happy kids, wonderful days, memories, and clean floors... if that is all we know.

What will you create today?

Happiness the old fashioned way

Sometimes when I turn on the news and listen to what the people around me did to one another , I get discouraged. Shooting one another, killing, maiming, hit and runs and all the rest.  Then I think back to the things I have learned in life and realize the problems are pretty much the same.  Everyone is looking for happiness and since it is  equated to money, a host of problems arise.

Epicurus knew, way back in 341 BC , money didn't bring happiness.  Over the years he wrote 300 books, all of which have been lost over the centuries, yet his ideas still live today.   He thought there were three major parts to happiness. 1. Friends 2. Freedom 3. An analyzed life.

For my taste he took the friendship thing too far.  He liked communal living because there were always people around. He believed only wolves and bears ate alone and people should always eat with someone else.  It might be my answer to dieting.  If I waited for someone to share every meal with, I wouldn't eat much.  But let's look at the bigger picture.  When you have lots of friends, your life is entwined with them.
Groups of people together are festive by nature.  It is a much happier life with friends around.  Only not around all the time, in my opinion.

Next he thought freedom was important.  He didn't mean freedom like many of you are thinking.  He meant no boss to ruin your life. He actually was speaking of being self-sufficient.  Knowing how to take care of yourself and your family.  This is not a high priority in our times.  I was speaking one night about this and a lady came up to me later.  She said Walmart would always have food so she thought I was being negative and old  fashioned.  Needless to say, I couldn't think of anything to say to her.  I hope my mouth didn't gape open too far.

Then there is the analyzed life. Epicurus believed one needed to have enough time alone to examine their life. Sitting on a river bank or walking in the woods with no music, no people and no commercials,only quiet.To spend time reflecting and perhaps letting ideas pop into your head. They will never come with your ipad always at hand, your computer in front of you or a video game stealing your attention.

Way back before the birth of Christ, Epicurus believed commercialism and advertising caused most of our problems with happiness.  He felt it was why getting away alone  once in awhile was so important.
Before I let go of this subject, I want to point something out that Epicurus said.  He said we bought things to find happiness, but happiness is not included with any purchase.  He said it was mostly advertising.
Someone buys a cologne called Love.  They don't necessary want the cologne, they want the love.
Take "Bacardi and friends", do you want the Bacardi or the friends?  Whiskey most usually shows a guy sitting alone reflecting while he sips a $200 bottle of single malt whiskey.  Does he want the whiskey or the reflection?
Only wanted to give you a little something to think about on these cold winter mornings as you drink your Folgers coffee. Did you buy it because the kid came all the way from East Africa to see his family for Christmas or because you like the taste?  Hum.

A Tiny View of Socrates

Socrates would have been lost in our world and most likely cast aside as a nut job.  He was dirty, barefoot, and ugly.  It was his habit to walk around the streets of the Athens marketplace and ask the people he met a series of questions aimed at examining their lives.  

Most people do not take kindly to someone, anyone, especially a filthy, ugly, and  unkempt man, who interrupts their day to search their thinking. It was the life of Socrates.

To make matters worse,  Socrates didn't  write anything down.  All we know about his life and times we read from his students, the most famous being Plato.  Socrates wanted to know what and why people were what they were.  Did their belief follow the rules of common sense.  In other words if a married man was happy did it mean all married men were happy.  Common sense says no.  So if Socrates could find an exception to a statement he considered it false. He would consider finding more exceptions to a statement until it was found to be completely false.

I would imagine it was annoying at best.  Socrates was trying to get everyone he met to think outside the box, to be a self confident thinker and not to follow the crowd.  People were likened to sheep who always followed the leader and were horribly afraid to get out of the herd.  People are especially prone to follow those they deem successful or rich.  He found out , however, the people who were famous or rich, more likely than not did not understand or know why they had become rich or successful. Most thought they were just lucky.   

Socrates thought anyone and everyone should think.  Thinking should not be left to the folks with higher educational degrees.  It does not necessary make them  better thinkers- a horrible misconception.

If I make a statement, and say Bill Clinton, makes a conflicting statement, the most famous will be taken as correct.  Although, Bill might not know anything about the subject.  Human nature, I guess.  Education and fame trumps  relative unknown author and speaker.  Hum. Socrates was not a fan of democracy for this reason. Majority rules and focus groups that guides us today would have unnerved him.  He was a great fan of logical and reasonable thought.  Those two things are not necessarily present in our modern day decisions.

Socrates is best known for saying "I know that I know nothing."  The  Oracle of Delphi said he was the wisest man alive at the time.

The "I know that I know nothing." quote follows a basic philosophy many of we life time learners.Yet we put it another way.  "The more I know, the more I realize I don't know."  Those of us who read and study to write books and articles realize what we know is the tip of the iceberg.

Socrates was eventually tried and put to death for corrupting the youth of Athens and ignoring the gods .

He was forced to drink hemlock and died, what I am sure was a nasty death.

What he taught us rings true today.  An un-examined life is a wasted one.   It is worth it to know what you really believe and to not follow the crowd.   It will open a new chapter in you life.  Colors will appear brighter and the journey more meaningful and joy full.   I don't think hemlock is as readily available as it was back then, so grab a book you have always wanted to read but were afraid people would make fun of.

Someone once asked me what I was reading.  My daughter was there and said " Mom reads weird books."

I thought it a great compliment.

Have a great day.