Yesterday morning I got up as usual and followed my normal routine. Put my best friend Diggitty, a mini daschund, outside to do her morning ritual, turned on the coffee pot and sat down to see what happened in the world overnight.
It struck me how incredibly nervous I have been the last few days. I really can't put my finger on the immediate source. We all have drama. Children to worry about (no matter how old they are). A million things to do for the upcoming Holiday Season. It goes on and on. Nothing has changed, so why am I so nervous?
Then it hit me like a ton of bricks.
While I wait for Diggitty to come back in and the coffee to brew, I am thinking of the five hundred things I need to do.
While I am in the shower I am thinking about what I will wear. When I am getting dressed I am thinking about feeding the cats and dogs and whether there is enough pet food to get through the week. While I am feeding the animals, I am wondering if their water is okay or if the greenhouse needs to be watered. While I am putting out fresh water and cleaning the litter box, I am thinking about what to eat for breakfast.
Let me tell you folks. It is not yet nine o'clock and I am exhausted.
I sat down and tried to think of when I am the calmest. It is when I am either reading or writing. Why? Because you can't read and think about anything else and you can not write and think about anything else.
Ah, a clue.
There have been many books written about staying in the now. They are good advice but I didn't heed them until this morning.
Today, I got up, slipped on my bedroom slippers and made it a point to notice how comfortable they made my feet feel. I carried by little friend to the back door and on the way I flipped the switch on the coffee. Instead of obsessing about the events of last night, I stood at the back door and observed the dog as she did her walk about. I kept my mind on her and what she liked to do.
Got my coffee and sat down at the computer. I have two books going. They are both good but one is lighthearted and one serious. I enjoy writing one more than the other, yet I have so much time invested, I will finish both. But I digress. While I was checking out facebook I made it a point to see my friends as they are. Really pay attention to what they think was important enough to post. Had to laugh. Most facebook postings are frivolousness.
When I took my shower, I took time to feel the water flow down my body. I felt the shampoo lather in my hair and the sensation of the shower gloves on my body. Okay. Maybe I sound a little crazy. Yet it is now nine o'clock again and I am going to try this for the entire day. Maybe again tomorrow. No phone while driving, no book while eating. Just a day of paying attention.
Will it help? I will let you know. I can say I am not as exhausted as I was this time yesterday. And everyone else around here seems calmer also. Humm.